When the Dam Breaks: Crying Over Everything (and Nothing)

It’s not the spoon you dropped. It’s everything that spoon represents.

“Sometimes it’s the smallest thing – a song on the radio, someone using the wrong tone – and suddenly I’m crying like something huge just happened. And I can’t stop. The tears aren’t even about that one thing… they’re about everything I’ve been holding in. And once the door opens, it all comes pouring out.”

👋 Let’s Begin with the Scene You Know

You’re standing in the kitchen. You’ve made it through a long day with maybe three brain cells and half a smile. Someone says something in the wrong tone – something tiny, maybe even well-meaning – and boom.

Tears. Big, dramatic, cannot-be-contained, mascara-murdering tears.

And the weirdest part? It’s not really about what just happened. It’s not just about that one phrase, or that weird look, or the commercial with the dog.

It’s like… the emotional version of your basement flooding from one leaky pipe. The water wasn’t about that pipe. It’s about every storm you’ve survived that didn’t get processed. And now it’s all here. In your face. Through your eyeballs.

😭 Why Does This Happen?

Short version? Hormones, stress, and years of “holding it together” like a one-woman emotional Jenga tower.

More specifically:

• Estrogen affects serotonin (your mood stabilizer) and oxytocin (your bonding hormone).
• When estrogen dips (which it now does on a roulette wheel), emotional regulation gets dicey.
• The nervous system is more reactive. Which means your “just a little stressed” becomes “WHY IS THE LIGHT TOO BRIGHT?”

But also:

• You’ve been strong too many days in a row.
• You’ve pushed through one too many “I’m fine” responses.
• And now your body’s just like: “Enough. Feel this. All of it.”

In case you needed numbers to make it feel valid:

💡 Studies show that 68–75% of women in perimenopause experience unexpected emotional surges or crying spells – often with no specific trigger.

📖 What It Feels Like (aka: You’re Not Alone)

Here’s what readers like you have shared:

• “I cried because I couldn’t open a jar of pickles. Not softly. Like… funeral wailing.”
• “My husband asked what was wrong. I said ‘nothing.’ Then sobbed for 40 minutes while folding towels.”
• “It felt like grief, but I couldn’t point to what I lost.”

Or maybe you’ve had this gem:

You start crying, then you cry about crying, and now you’re spiraling because “Who even AM I right now?!”

We get it. You haven’t lost it. You’re just finally letting it surface.

🧘‍♀️ A Script to Read When the Tears Start (and Won’t Stop)

This isn’t a fix. It’s a soft place to land.

The Grounding Start

You’re feeling a lot, and it makes sense – even if the reason doesn’t.
Sometimes the tears are from today, sometimes they’re from 15 years ago. Sometimes they’re just what your nervous system needed to release without permission.

You’re not too sensitive. You’re not dramatic. You’re at capacity.

The Emotional Anchor

Let the tears come. Let them fall. You don’t need to explain them to anyone – not even to yourself right now. You are not a mess. You’re a woman who has carried so much for so long that even your body said, “Okay, it’s time we let some of this out.”

You’re safe here. Nothing is wrong with you. These tears are part of your strength – not your weakness.

The Gentle Pivot

If you can, place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly. Feel that you’re here, you’re breathing, you’re real. The storm isn’t in control – you are. Even if all you do today is cry and sit still, you’ve done enough.

You are enough.

🧠 What Might Actually Help

We won’t tell you to “just meditate” or “light a candle and manifest stability.” Here are things that real women say helped ease the intensity (no guarantee, just possibility):

💡 The Real Stuff

• Magnesium glycinate before bed → helps with nervous system regulation
• Vitamin B6 → supports mood swings linked to hormones
• Ashwagandha → for stress that wears heels and stomps around inside you
• Crying in the shower → oddly effective. 10/10 private meltdown setting.
• Voice notes to yourself → talk it out, no audience required

🧘‍♀️ Emotional Reframes

• “This isn’t overreacting. It’s overdue processing.”
• “This emotion is not a problem to solve. It’s a message I can let pass through.”
• “I’m not ‘too much.’ I’m exactly the right amount of finally honest.”

✅ If You Try Just One Thing

Next time the tears sneak up and make you feel like you’re crumbling, try this:

Put your hand on your chest, name out loud: “I’m feeling something big. I don’t need to hide it.”
Then say nothing else. Let the silence do the witnessing.
This small ritual might stop you from spiraling about the crying and just let you have it.

Meanwhile, in the Land of Male Emotional Regulation (aka Beer and Silence)

If men cried like this every Tuesday at 4:17pm?

There’d be entire emotional evacuation centers built.
You’d see guys saying:

“Sorry, man. Gotta go sob in the garage. It’s hormone hour.”

Their coworkers would high-five them for “letting it out.”

And if one cried at work? He’d get a day off, a blanket, and a Chipotle gift card for bravery.

But you?

You’re expected to cry quietly into your sleeve and still remember Karen’s birthday at the office.

😂 And Finally, a Little Humor – Because Why Not Cry-Laugh?

ME: I don’t know why I’m crying
Also ME: Remembers that time in 1994 when someone rolled their eyes at me
Also ME again: This is fine. Totally stable.

Bonus points if you do this while holding a spoon mid-air and crying over soup you didn’t even want.

Or this moment of self-awareness:

Tried to journal about my feelings. Ended up writing “I’m tired” 37 times and drawing a sad sun in the corner.

💬 Want to Talk About It?

You don’t have to go through this quietly. Cry here. Laugh here. Scream into a stylish pillow. Then join our Menopause Support Group where other women cry over salad commercials too.

You’re not alone. You’re just… finally letting it out.