Top 10 Questions to Ask Your Doctor About Menopause & HRT

(Because “Am I Dying or Just Perimenopausal?” isn’t on the intake form)

👋 Let’s Start with This Truth Bomb:

Going to the doctor to talk about menopause can feel like bringing a glitter bomb to a tax audit. You’re not even sure where to start – and half the time, the person across from you is just nodding politely while silently Googling “vaginal dryness but make it empowering.”

If you’ve ever walked out of a medical appointment wondering whether you hallucinated the whole thing… you’re not alone.

This is your prep list. Not just for getting answers, but for feeling like you belong in that office – even if your ovaries are ghosting you like a bad ex.

🧠 But First: Why This Matters

Here’s the thing no one told you in health class (because health class stopped at acne and awkward banana demos):
Menopause is not just about your period ghosting you.
It’s a systemic shift → hormonal, emotional, cognitive, metabolic <- and it deserves actual medical attention.

And yes, you’re allowed to advocate for real solutions – not just “Have you tried yoga?”

🧾 Before You Go: Prep Like a Pro

1. Track your symptoms. (You’re not imagining them. And no, you’re not “just stressed.”)
2. Write your questions down. Doctors are humans. Sometimes rushed humans.
3. Know your priorities. Are you worried about mood? Sleep? Libido? Weight? All of it? You get to say that.

What to Say If You’re Not Sure HRT Is Right for You

You don’t need to walk in with a decision – you just need to walk in with honesty. Try this:

“I’m curious about HRT, but I’m not sure it’s right for me. Can you walk me through the options, risks, and benefits for someone like me?”
This keeps the conversation open, puts the responsibility on your provider to educate (not sell), and signals that you’re informed – not indecisive.

📋 The Actual Questions to Ask (Print This If You Have To)

1. Can you explain the different types of HRT – and which might work for me?

You’re not just asking “Should I take estrogen?” – you’re asking:

• What kind? (Patch? Pill? Gel? Ring?)
• What about progesterone – do I need it?
• What’s bioidentical vs. not?

⚠️ Watch out for doctors who say “we don’t do that” or “you don’t need it unless it’s severe.” You’re not applying for a loan. You’re reporting a full-body revolution.

2. Are you trained in menopause care? (And what certifications do you hold?)

This one’s bold. But so are your symptoms.
Ask if they’ve taken menopause-specific continuing education – like The Menopause Society (formerly NAMS) certification.

Because guess what? Most med schools barely cover menopause.
You’re not being rude – you’re vetting your hormonal tour guide.

3. Can we do hormone level testing – and if so, which ones?

While many providers say “we don’t need labs,” it’s fair to ask:

• What stage of menopause am I in?
• Can you check estradiol, progesterone, testosterone, FSH?

You’re not requesting a crystal ball – you want a baseline.

And no, you don’t have to be bleeding out like a Shakespearean villain to justify testing.

4. Is it too late (or too early) to start HRT?

Here’s the timeline drama:
HRT works best if started within 10 years of your last period – but that doesn’t mean you’re out of luck after that.

Ask:

• Am I still a candidate?
• What’s the risk/benefit now?

And if they look confused? Redirect them to Google Scholar and sip your iced magnesium.

5. What are the risks of HRT – and how do they apply to me specifically?

Translation: don’t let them hit you with 2002’s outdated WHI study fear-mongering.
Instead, ask:

• Given my age, history, and family risk – what’s my actual risk profile?
• How do I weigh that against quality of life?

Your suffering isn’t a character-building exercise.

6. What’s the plan for follow-up and long-term monitoring if I start HRT?

Ask what bloodwork (if any) they’ll repeat. What symptoms to track.
Ask when to come back. Ask if they’ll ghost you emotionally once the prescription is in.

This isn’t one-and-done. You want a plan – not just a “Let me know if you spontaneously combust.”

7. What are non-HRT options if I can’t (or don’t want to) take hormones?

Some people can’t do HRT. Some don’t want to.

Ask about:

• SSRI/SNRIs for hot flashes or mood
• Supplements (black cohosh, ashwagandha, etc.)
• Lifestyle supports (sleep, exercise, nutrition)

You deserve a full menu – not “maybe try meditation and cry less.”

8. Can we talk about my sexual health, libido, and vaginal symptoms?

Don’t squirm. Say the words: “I’m noticing changes. What are my options?”

Ask about:

• Vaginal estrogen (yes, it’s different from systemic HRT)
• DHEA, moisturizers, and other local treatments
• Libido shifts and what’s normal vs. what’s treatable

Men talk about this stuff on prime time. You can talk about it with your doctor.

9. What changes should I expect in bone, heart, and brain health – and how do I monitor them?

Menopause isn’t just hot flashes and tears. It’s also:

• Bone loss
• Cardiovascular risk
• Cognitive shifts

Ask about DEXA scans, lipid panels, mental health screening. You’re not being paranoid – you’re being proactive.

10. How do you define “normal” for this phase – and what should make me come back sooner?

Normalize follow-up for:

• Mood shifts
• Sleep changes
• Irregular bleeding
• “I just don’t feel right”

Ask: “When should I call you?” – because you should not be left Googling in a panic at 2AM.

What Your Doctor Should Be Explaining (But Probably Isn’t)

Here’s the wild part: some of the most important menopause info never even makes it into the exam room. Your doctor should be explaining that vaginal estrogen doesn’t carry the same risks as systemic HRT, that progesterone can help calm anxiety and sleep issues, that libido changes are hormonal and treatable, and that testosterone isn’t just for men with gym memberships. They should be telling you how HRT affects your heart, bones, and brain – not just your period. But too often, they skip the nuance and assume you’ll just ride it out. Spoiler: you don’t have to.

What should I say if I feel dismissed – or if something doesn’t feel right?

Sometimes, doctors deflect. Or minimize. Or pull the classic:

“Well, that’s just part of getting older.”

Here’s your script:

“I understand some symptoms are expected. But this is impacting my quality of life. I’m asking for options, not a pep talk.”

Or this gem:

“If I were your sister, what would you recommend?”

That one hits different.

🧘‍♀️ Calming Reframe

You are not difficult for asking questions. You are not overreacting for wanting sleep, libido, or the ability to sit in a meeting without becoming a puddle.
You don’t need to “be brave” – you need answers. That’s not emotional. That’s strategic.

Let their discomfort with your symptoms be their limitation – not your silence.

🎀 Gentle Reminder

You don’t have to memorize all this. Screenshot it. Print it. Walk in with notes.
You are not a difficult patient. You are a woman with a hormone system in transition and a brain that deserves clarity.