Is It Normal to Feel This Lost? (Spoiler: Yes.)

Why Nobody Tells You Where to Start in Menopause and How to Find Your Way Anyway

You sit there … bloated, buzzing, sweating through a bra that betrayed you, trying to figure out which of the 14 weird things happening in your body is the one you’re supposed to fix first.

Is it the brain fog?
The 3AM insomnia?
The joints that suddenly feel older than your father-in-law’s recliner?

You open your browser, type in “Menopause where do I start?” – and all you get are vague lists, random tips, and a thousand-dollar course on “feminine embodiment.”

“Am I missing something? Did everyone else get a guidebook and I just blacked out during orientation?”

Nope.
You’re not missing the window.
You’re not falling apart.

You’re just navigating a life phase that comes with zero structure, minimal support, and a mountain of symptoms that feel like they’re rotating in alphabetical order.

And yes! It’s completely normal to feel this lost.

💣 Why Menopause Feels Like Chaos (It’s Not Just You)

If you feel like menopause came out of nowhere and started playing whack-a-mole with your body, that’s because… it did.

Perimenopause (the 2–12 year rollercoaster before menopause actually begins) can cause:

• Sleep disruption
• Sudden weight gain
• Skin changes
• Hair loss
• Anxiety
• Panic attacks
• Depression
• Brain fog
• Gut issues
• Blood sugar crashes
• Joint pain
• Night sweats
• Itchy everything
• Random crying because your sock feels wrong

And here’s the kicker: you’re supposed to figure it out while already feeling like garbage.

There’s no official “start here” plan.
Most doctors say things like, “It’s normal,” or “Just wait it out,” or, our favorite, “Have you tried yoga?”

So no, you didn’t miss the rulebook.
It just doesn’t exist.

🤯 Why the Overwhelm Hits So Hard

Here’s what really happens:

• You feel a symptom.
• You search for a solution.
• You get 47 suggestions and 0 clarity.
• You try 3 things.
• Nothing works fast enough.
• More symptoms arrive.
• You now have a drawer of supplements, a $200 eye cream, and no plan.

And that’s just the physical side.
Once your body starts spiraling, the emotional side always follows:

• You start to feel invisible.
• You doubt your memory, your motivation, your value.
• You think, “If I can’t even figure this out, what’s wrong with me?”
• You stop trusting yourself and that’s the scariest part of all.

🧩 What No One Tells You: There Is a Way Through

You don’t need a 90-day hormone detox.
You don’t need to fix everything at once.
You need a starting point and permission to begin exactly where you are.

Let’s give you that.

📍 Step One: Name What’s Loudest

Don’t fix everything. Just identify what’s screaming the loudest right now.

Ask:

“What symptom is making my life the hardest today?”

Pick one:

• “I can’t sleep.”
• “I’m anxious all day and don’t know why.”
• “I feel like I’m gaining weight by breathing.”
• “I’m so foggy I left my keys in the fridge.”
• “I ache everywhere, and nobody warned me menopause could feel like arthritis in drag.”

That’s where you start. One doorway in.
The other stuff will wait. Trust that.

🧠 Step Two: Anchor to Basics (Not Biohacks)

Instead of chasing TikTok hacks or complex protocols, ask:

“Is my body getting the core things it needs?”

Start here:

• Am I eating enough protein?
• Am I getting magnesium every day?
• Am I drinking water like I’m not made of rage and caffeine?
• Am I sleeping in a room that’s too hot or too noisy?
• Have I peed today without rushing?

This is not “wellness minimalism.”
This is hormonal first aid.

🧃 Step Three: Get Curious (Not Urgent)

Once you’ve calmed the panic spiral and identified one focus, ask a better question:

“What’s one thing I haven’t tried that feels doable this week?”

Maybe it’s:

• Taking magnesium glycinate before bed
• Tracking one symptom in a notebook for five days
• Trying a high-protein breakfast to prevent the 10AM crash
• Booking a doctor who actually listens
• Lying on the floor for 3 minutes because your nervous system said “uncle”

Curiosity opens doors. Urgency slams them shut.

🎭 Humor Break: “My Attempt at Solving Menopause So Far”

• Tried 4 new supplements. Forgot to take them.
• Downloaded 2 tracking apps. Deleted both.
• Bought blackout curtains. Still woke up at 2:57am to overthink 1998.
• Tried meditation. Fell asleep angry.
• Asked a doctor. Got blank stare and iron pills.
• Screamed into a pillow. Effective but not scalable.
• Booked massage. Cried on the table. Still worth it.

Conclusion: You’re not a failure. You’re in a systemless system. You’re doing fine.

🧘‍♀️ Calming Reframe

It makes sense that you feel lost.
This is not a normal health phase.
This is a complete hormonal reset wrapped in a medical shrug.

You were never taught how to support your body through this.
You weren’t given steps.
You weren’t given tools.
You were given vague advice and a handful of contradictions.

So no! You’re not off track.
You’re not lazy.
You’re navigating something hard with too little help.

And here’s the good news:
You don’t need to have it all figured out.

You just need to start with what’s loud.
Get curious.
Give your body a signal of care.
And then… see what softens.

💥 The Elistocrat Take

Feeling lost in menopause isn’t weakness. It’s data.
It’s your body saying, “We’re changing. And we need you to notice.”

You don’t need a detox.
You don’t need a diagnosis of “not trying hard enough.”
You need a compass.

Start with one symptom.
Give your nervous system a win.
Let the fog lift slowly, steadily with each small adjustment that says,

“I hear you. I’ve got you. We’ll figure this out together.”

This isn’t falling apart.
This is your body reorienting itself, with YOU finally at the center.

And that?
Is not lost.
It’s becoming.