Chronic Pain: When Your Body Becomes an Opinionated Roommate (and Won’t Shut Up)

“The saga of joints with attitude, nerves on edge, and one woman’s quest to sit comfortably for five minutes.”

👋 Welcome to the Pain Party (You Didn’t RSVP To)

Let’s talk about chronic pain. Not the kind where you twist your ankle and rest it for a week. We mean the kind that shows up uninvited, moves in rent-free, and starts redecorating your entire nervous system in beige agony.

You wake up and it’s there. You sit too long and it’s louder. You exist, and your shoulder/knee/back/toe has notes. Pain becomes your shadow, your sidekick, your unsolicited life coach: “Don’t do that, or I’ll scream.”

And the worst part? It gaslights you. One day it’s your hip. Next day it’s your jaw. You blink and now it’s your rib cage like, “Surprise! I’m involved too!”

📉 So… Why Is This Happening?

Estrogen does more than manage your periods and keep your skin juicy. It also plays a major role in:

• Inflammation regulation
• Joint lubrication
• Pain perception in the brain

When it drops?
🔥 Inflammation rises
💧 Joints stiffen
🧠 Pain signals get LOUDER (even when nothing’s “wrong”)

Some studies even show women are more likely to develop chronic pain conditions during and after menopause, including:

• Fibromyalgia
• Joint pain (especially hips, back, neck, and knees)
• Muscle stiffness
• TMJ (jaw pain)
• Pelvic floor tension
• Vulvodynia (vaginal pain)

And if anyone tells you it’s “just stress”? Politely direct them toward your heating pad and exit the conversation.

➡️ The Stats No One Wants:
Nearly 70% of midlife women report some form of ongoing pain – joint, muscle, nerve, or mystery.
About 30% feel like they’re taken seriously when they talk about it.
100% have considered throwing a heating pad at someone.

📖 What It Feels Like (A Dramatic Performance by Your Body)

• Like your knees filed a restraining order against stairs
• Like someone filled your joints with damp gravel
• Like stretching is a trap but not stretching is a punishment
• Like your muscles miss magnesium more than your ex
• Like your body upgraded to the pain package without your consent

This isn’t just “aging.” This is biological drama unfolding in your tissues.

🛠️ What Might Actually Help (Without Selling You a Foam Roller Named Destiny)

Let’s go from ow to maybe tolerable with the real-world toolkit:

💊 The “Be Kind to Your Joints” Starter Pack

✅ Magnesium Glycinate
Helps muscles chill the hell out. Might also help sleep. Bonus: decent nails.

✅ Turmeric + Black Pepper
Natural anti-inflammatory tag team. Just don’t spill it on anything you love.

✅ Omega-3s (Fish Oil or Algae)
Helps fight inflammation from the inside. Like little chill capsules for your joints.

✅ Vitamin D3 + K2
Because you’re not getting enough from the sun and your bones are quietly panicking.

✅ Collagen + Hyaluronic Acid
May help with joint lubrication (aka, WD-40 for your insides). Expect subtle results, not miracles.

✅ B Vitamins (Especially B12 & B6)
For nerve support. Because your nervous system has been acting like a diva lately.

🏃‍♀️ The “Movement That Doesn’t Break You” Menu

✅ Gentle walking
Literally 10 minutes counts. You’re not training for a triathlon – you’re just trying to reach the mailbox without a full-blown hip tantrum.

✅ Stretching (Light and Slow)
Focus on hips, lower back, and hamstrings. No bouncing. No grunting. Just breathe and try not to curse. Stretching + foam rolling + massage = actual relief.

✅ Strength Training with Bands
Start tiny. Like, “this feels like nothing” tiny. Your joints need support, not CrossFit.

✅ Somatic Movement or Feldenkrais
Weird name, amazing results. It’s like you’re teaching your nervous system to stop freaking out.

✅ Heat Therapy
Not glamorous, but clutch. Heating pads, warm epsom salt baths, or microwaving that weird rice sock from 2009.

🧘‍♀️ Gentle Mind Reframes (Because You’re Not Weak – You’re Just in Pain)

• “I’m not lazy. I’m in negotiation with my body today.”
• “Pain isn’t my identity. It’s my body’s very persistent feedback loop.”
• “It’s okay to say no to plans. Or people. Or pants.”
• “Resting is a strategy. Not a failure.”

✅ If You Try Just One Thing…

Try magnesium glycinate + gentle stretching while you’re watching TV.
Hip openers, shoulder rolls, neck tilts.
Your fascia will loosen. Your joints will whine less.
And no one has to know you’re doing physical therapy in pajama pants.

🚫 Things We’re Side-Eyeing

❌ “Just stay positive.”

Thank you, Susan. My rotator cuff feels much better now.

❌ “You’re just aging.”

Cool. So is wine. And it gets better with time. I expect the same.

❌ “Pain is all in your head.”

Yes. It’s also in my neck, back, hips, feet, shoulders, jaw, and morale.

🧩 Extra Tools to Try

🛏️ Weighted Blanket – helps reduce nervous system overactivation
🧘‍♀️ Body Scan Meditation – YouTube is full of free ones
🌀 Acupressure Mat – weirdly painful, but it works for some
📲 Stretching Apps – try “StretchIt” or “Glo” for routines you’ll actually do
📚 Books – “The Pain Management Workbook” by Rachel Zoffness is legit helpful
📍 PT or Pelvic Floor Therapy – especially for vulvar or pelvic pain

💋 Elistocrat Take

You’re not fragile.
You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’re not imagining it.

Chronic pain during menopause is real – and so is your right to comfort, relief, and a body that doesn’t feel like it’s sending mixed signals through every ligament.

You’re not lazy. You’re recalibrating.
You’re not weak. You’re responding to something loud.
You’re not done. You’re evolving – with maybe one sore ankle and a neck that pops like bubble wrap.

And until your bones behave and your nerves quiet down?

You stretch. You soak. You supplement.
You survive.

With snacks, sass, and possibly magnesium.