Elistocrat
The High Society of Hot Flashes & Hilarity
We are Menopause Newsletter
Where Menopause Meets Glamour, Laughter, and a Touch of Leopard Print!
Menopause isn’t a crisis - it’s a rebrand. And at Elistocrat, we’re flipping the script with humor, attitude, and zero patience for outdated clichés. Whether you’re battling hot flashes, brain fog, or the sudden urge to fight a lamp, we’ve got you.
Expect laugh-out-loud takes on menopause, plus the science broken down so simply even your foggy brain will get it - packed with sharp, hilarious, and actually useful insights straight to your inbox. Because if menopause is going to mess with you, you might as well laugh first and outsmart it second.
🔥 Don’t miss out - join the VIP list everyone’s whispering about. 🔥
💌 Daily Dose of Menopause Mayhem – Delivered Every Morning
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One daily article that’s smart, funny, and gloriously chaotic
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Snarky affirmations & real support (with zero doom, ever)
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A “vibe forecast” to match your mood and meltdown level
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Meme previews, cold spoon hacks, and fake science we mostly believe in
- Plus: weekly episodes of Vera Vex in Menoland - our comic strip heroine navigating menopause like a pro
Not sure what kind of glorious chaos you’re signing up for?
We made a sneak peek just for you - one full, unfiltered Elistocrat newsletter so you can see exactly what lands in inboxes every morning at 7AM.
👉 Read the preview here
It’s part therapy, part comedy, and 100% doom-free.
Only for the fabulous. 💋
After signing up, don’t let us hide! Check your spam and junk - we’re worth the hunt! 🔍
Meet "E" Editor-in-Chief of Elistocrat
Hi, I’m E, and I’m 50. My first peri symptoms hit at 38, and now, nine months period-free, I’m deep in the transition. I started Elistocrat to create The Funniest (& Actually Useful) Menopause Newsletter, because we deserve more than dry medical jargon and positivity in our lives.
Here, we break down the science without the snooze, tackle the chaos with humor, and throw in some truly unhinged takes, like what if men had menopause? and memes that actually make you laugh.
Welcome to Elistocrat! I’m glad you’re here!
🔥 WE HAVE A COMIC NOW. YES, REALLY.
Vera Vex in Menoland
She was just trying some vitamins now she’s trapped in a hormone-fueled alternate reality.
Follow Vera, our sarcastic heroine, as she navigates hot flashes, mood swings, and emotionally unstable clocks in a world where menopause gets delightfully weird.
✨ New episodes are dropping right into your inbox if you’re subscribed. If not… what are you waiting for?
Menopause Mood Board: Laugh, Cry, Repeat
My metabolism slowed down, my memory got foggy, but my ability to detect BS?
Sharper than ever.
Menopause:
When your body turns the thermostat into a roulette wheel and your brain into a Magic 8-Ball that only says
‘Ask again later.’
— Estrogen Houdini, Master of Disappearing Hormones
My patience left with my estrogen. Adjust accordingly.
Menopause Friday:
Survived the week without throat-punching anyone… barely 
I can't even...
Menopause: Turning 'resting face' into a legally recognized warning sign.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Menopause.
Menopause who?
Menopause who?! Oh, I’m sorry, did you forget me already? Don’t worry, I’ll remind you… at 3 AM, with a hot flash and an urgent need to pee.
Menopause: Like a mother-in-law… always in your business, impossible to ignore, and making you sweat for no reason. 
'Menopause: 
The magical time when your AC is broken, your patience is gone, and your snacks are non-negotiable.'
— Nancy NoChill, Executive Director of Unpaid Hormonal Experiments
What our Subscribers are Saying
This newsletter is the only thing keeping me sane. Well, this and my industrial-strength ceiling fan set to tornado mode 😵💨
I used to cry over my lost metabolism. Now I cry-laugh at Elistocrat Menopause Newsletter memes while eating cheese straight from the fridge. It’s called healing. 🧀😂
Finally, a menopause site that understands me. And by ‘understands me,’ I mean it doesn’t judge my daily caffeine-to-wine ratio. ☕🍷
Elistocrat Menopause Newsletter is the only thing that hasn’t ghosted me in perimenopause - unlike my short-term memory, my willpower, and my waistline. 🤯
My doctor told me to reduce stress. I told him I read Elistocrat Menopause Newsletter. He nodded like that was a legitimate medical solution. 😌😡😂
Before Elistocrat Menopause Newsletter, I thought my thermostat was broken. Turns out, it was just my ovaries committing arson. Thanks for the laughs and the survival tips! 🔥🥵